Getting Back to Normal (heeheehee)

Here we go.... I know I have completely fallen off the saddle with this blog. URG. One more thing to be irritated at myself for I suppose. Nonetheless, all can be repaired. So, it''s time to blow the dust off this thing and get it back to fully functional. I promise to give it my best. 

So, here we are... getting settled in Omaha. For those that do not know, we moved out here to help out family while setting new roots. My father in law recently passed away, so now, my honey is struggling with grief, the needs of this family and the needs of his newly widowed mother. Poor guy.

My patience is fading, I won't lie. But, like all things.... I am fully prepared to tuck and roll. 

I am still attempted to shave some serious inch-age off of my ass... yeah, we're not making great progress, but I am at least trying. It's kinda hard to diet when people people associate the loss of a loved one with stuffing your house with fatty comfort foods and covering your counters with absolutely sinful baked goods. ;) Bless them. 

But, we've made a lot of other progress. I am totally growing up. Which scares me. I am beginning to succumb to the obligations of adulthood. I actually have been doing housework because I need to, no inner pep talk required. My grades are going up and I am not completely resentful for having to log into class.  

My son...6 years old and going on 30, even notices. How organized things have become lately, and how relaxed I have been... That is really kind of cool. 

Speaking of the kiddo... MUST SHARE this Easter mishap...

So the mother in law asks up to attend Easter services with her. Uh, okay. My son and I are Jewish, so this is a little foreign for us (He's NEVER been to an Easter anything before, and it's been so long for me...it felt like the first time - much like my sex life LOL).

So there we are... Jews in pews... listening to the story of the resurrection of Jesus. My mother in law and my husband go to take communion, and my 6 year old leans over Doniven:"psssssssssst, mom..... psssssssssssssst...." me: yes Doniven? Doniven: Mom.... the only time people are dead and then alive again is when they are zombies. Is that what these people are talking about?? Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahah! Me: We'll talk about it later. 

I know, I should probably promote more far more respect about subjects as personal as religion, but I really don't think anything anything is sacred. Not only that, but life is too short to be effing stuffy... and above all, this came from the mouth of a 6 year old. This is just funny! 

So, my next venture is truly embracing my inner domestic goddess...and to do that I need to begin with ruling my kitchen... I am learning how to cook!! I mean, I can hold my own in preparing the family meal, but is is different... I mean REALLY cook, bake and prepare. If anything catches fire, I will be sure to post photos.

I'll be positing photos soon.. just waiting to get Doniven's new school photos. 

- Danni

Since Our Last Chat...

Okay, okay, I totally said I would commit myself to a nightly 30 mins of alone time to fully love and utilize this little piece of personal space... But, I can't fully recall my last 30 mins of alone time, enough said. So, To fill you in on what has gone on in the past few weeks;

I LOST 15 POUNDS!  Yep, 3 weeks of pushing hard, exercising and completely changing like 90% of what I consume is totally paying off. 15 pounds! (give or take a few ounces... assuming the 3 ft. creature lets be poo in peace that day.... urg! I know its a bit much to share, but other with wee ones will totally get it.) Now, this accomplishment was not made without some seriously comedic relief. Allow me to share... you're bound to shed a few pounds at my expense, and I fully encourage it. :)

See What Had Happened Was....  This whole "I need to only have one ass"... project began once we received our wedding photos. I had NO clue what a lard-ass I have become. I mean seriously, there is no excuse for FREAKING back fat in a wedding gown!!!!!!!! Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!! So, it was time to kick it in full gear. Since Mike went back to Nebraska with his 'rents, no better time to try something new and potentially humiliating than while he is away, right!? so it began, weeeeeeeee!

New Exercise Techniques = Not For Pansies We got a KINECT as our family gift for Chanumas this year, and I decided (in all of my wisdom and glory) that this was not only a toy, but this could be a hardcore fitness tool! So, I invested in Zumba for the kinect, Dance Central 3 and Kinect Your Shape. The your shape is my new favorite, it tracks the times you've spent "playing", the calories you've burnt and your goals and progress. However, parts of it are evil. You don't realize that it's evil because you are "playing" and you get caught up in the activity and catchy music and bright colors, and it seems harmless... until the next morning when you are waddling around like a constipated penguin and your organs are even sore. Now, the scary part of all of this is that you cannot have a queasy stomach while attempting this either... because while working out, you get to see your likeness and how all of it wiggles and jiggles on the screen while you are completing the activities. That gets downright frightening. I am already a fatass... I don't need to see how violently all my wiggly bits move.. let alone plastered all over a ginormous plasma tv! That just isn't fair! (yes, i totally stomped my foot while typing this)

Supportive Friends, Please Note: I have the privilege of having the most supportive, motivating and encouraging friends. And 90% of the time they get it. Totally. But every once in a while... Example: Last week (got to buy new jeans, Woot!), My girlfriend sees me for the first time since it all started and says "wow, you look great! You really are having success here! You can really see it in your face."  This is where my heart sinks a little bit. I thought I was doing so well... Now, I am just wondering how FREAKIN' huge my HEAD must be... urg! But, it was pretty funny.

For The Record - Soy Cheese Is The DEVIL! I was following all the rules, eliminated all the dairy from my diet, only whole grains, 10-16 glasses of water a day, a minimum of 30 mins of activity every morning and evening. I needed pizza by week two...NEEDED it, so I tried to make it happen following all the rules. whole wheat crust, organic tomato sauce with no sugars, tons of freshly slices veggies. Since, I was supposed to have no dairy... I picked up some soy cheese. IT DOESN'T MELT. Which tells me that it is plastic, or poison, but either way - it is not permitted to call itself cheese. That is completely false advertizing. I had my hopes all inflated, expected a delicious way to cheat the system, but alas, EPIC FAIL. After I was done scraping my tongue and washing away as much of the after taste as possible - Sadly, it was back to salads for me. 

The FUN of the Move Continues: Oh yeah, it just keeps getting better. Box stacks are getting taller, Our pantry becoming increasingly more bare (i refuse to buy a ton of groceries that we can't take with us...), and the deadline fast approaching. It was getting so crazy that even Doniven and the Dog were exhausted! 

However, we are finding ways to cope. Our new favorite escape from reality has been Sweet Frogs... a frozen yogurt bar that presents itself in a colorful, perky, happy display of low fat yumminess.... oh, its beautiful!

Oh the decisions! It really is THE. BEST. EVER. We are going to have to sacrifice it when we leave for Nebraska, and it will be sorely missed.

Off To The Farm For those of you that don't know, our dog Max had to find a new home while we prepare for the move. G-d Bless the sheltie rescue for taking such good care of him. He is now being housed by a woman who lives for shelties, owns her own farm and Max gets to chase all the sheep and geese his little heart desires. That whole process could have totally ended badly.

Boys is SPESHUL... There are moments where I feel like I am raising both the Kiddo and my loving husband. Let me expand on this... The kiddo had a play date here this week, and the kids did some coloring... Doniven draws a picture of a woman and gifts it to me saying; "Mommy, I drew a picture of you... only a little bit prettier." Yeah, thanks kid. This is also the same kid who tried to scare the dog awake with his morning breath... I believe he may need a helmet. My husband is wonderful, patient, kind, devoted, hardworking, and the most unromantic being on earth... we did JUST get married, I suppose I have time to train him. I like to think there is hope... Any suggestions? 

I have to run for now... shower time is over for the kiddo, which means it is time for stories, cuddles, and well.. kitten herding. I cant wait to find the time to share more on this journey. It really does stay pretty flipping entertaining around here.

Picking Battles & Spending Time

I have decided that I am going to do my best to devote *30 mins* of down time in the evenings for this blog thing in an effort to secure and maintain what sanity I am clinging to. I hope it helps :) I'm sure we'll know soon enough. Tonight was kinda funny though. I have a project due for school tonight (that is totally not happening until tomorrow). I spent my time in much better places and accomplishing way cooler things... totally worth the 10% hit off my grade that I'll face tomorrow. Here is why...

Boo (the pet name for our wee one Doniven) got of the bus this afternoon and rather pissed too. Turns out in his class each child has a color card that resembles a stop light. If your good your name stays on Green, if there is a minor infraction you move to yellow... you don't ride the short bus, so I am totally sure you get the point... Boo had to move to the yellow today...heaven help us, the end is nigh! 

Boo thought it was the end of the world. These fears and pressured feeling are so real to a little guy. And...well... as every good buddy knows, ya don't kick a man when he's down! Well damn it...that's my buddy and that wasn't gonna happen. So, instead of discussing the importance of following rules, telling him I was disappointed or any other generic parenting crap I could have pulled from a Dr. Spock book, we skipped homework (for the time being), threw his crap in the front door and turned around and went for a walk. I just listened. If you just listen, my G-d kids say some incredibly profound things. You also find out how they really feel, ie. Boo referring to his teacher as 'the cranky old goat'... yep, I am officially the parent of that child. Incredibly bright, with no chance of ever developing a filter. It was the coolest ever though. 45 minutes of insight into the world of the Kindergartener. I gotta tell you, I have a very communicative child, with a fairly well rounded vocabulary for his age... so after hearing him tell it, and really just listening... I have a new found appreciation for that stage of my life being over. Thank you Boo. <3

 Ps. I think the walk and venting did him some good... getting homework done was a breeze, and it wore him out a bit earlier than usual too, WOOT!


The other part of my day that was super awesome, what meeting with two of the more sincere and kindest people we have ever had the pleasure of meeting. The photographers for our wedding so that I could pick up our images and say "hi!" I cannot believe that during the process our families (or at least mine) didn't have these kind souls running and screaming in the opposite direction. And since the honey is gone for now and I miss him, it was cool to see some pictures of us together. I know, its a crazy sappy thing to say... but we did just  get married, so I guess that is completely acceptable.

Awwwww! It's us! And we still look like we like each other in this picture! (totally kidding I promise. But, if anyone knows of any fellas thinking about tying the knot, jumping the broom or other ridiculous euphemism for getting married, please note; marrying a chick and then moving a week later and leaving her to pack your $#!+... totally not cool.) He's lucky he married a chick that knows how to tuck and roll. Love you honey!

These events all seem to be valid reasons why homework did not take precedence tonight. I'm cool with it.  Eh, its an assignment I don't completely agree with anyway. My little man and new found friends totally win.

Oh, before I forget! Here is where I get to shamelessly plug our photographer buddies:
                                                          www.jaysonandrachael.com
Treat them kindly (they deserve nothing less), pay them well (whatever you pay them, they are easily worth twice that), trust them implicitly (you'll be glad that you did), then enjoy the finished product!
                                                                We <3 these two!

Buddies, Boxes, and Tape... oh my!

My dear husband has already made the trip back to Nebraska where he is from. He found a new job that will be a huge improvement for us all around. It pays better, near family, not an awful commute..yadda yadda... all good things.  So this leaves me and the 6 year old and our friends (I consider them family) to make some magic happen! Here is what we have so far...

All of the pictures and other breakables that need packing

We sold the sectional, since it won't fit in the new apartment... yes, we are down to an air mattress and a TV. Doniven thinks this is camping LOL! If you ask me, add pizza and beer and its a college dorm ;)

That used to be the toy room. Now it is housing all things packed. My thinking here was that if we packed everything and got in in one area down stairs, than when moving say approaches, schlepping into the moving truck will be easier.  Yes. We did this all in like no time, our friends are superheroes. 

The Preface

Alrighty... I am totally new to this whole "blogger' idea, but it was explained to me as an online journal of sorts and that sharing/confessing/venting,etc. can be quite cathartic. Eh, nothing to loose. I'll give it a shot. In a valiant attempt to keep things simple, I am providing some basic information that may also act as a disclaimer...
1. I am 26 and probably a little retarded. I don't pretend to know everything, actually, the longer I am a parent the more I am coming to believe that I really don't know a damn thing.
2. I'm fat... I make fun of the fact that I am fat because I can. first of all, I have come to terms with this fact and second, I am actively trying to change this. Third and Finally, Duh!!! being a fat ass and trying to remedy this can lead to events that are down right comical. So enjoy.
3. I am a mom, the hardest job I will ever have the honor of. Now, my little man is exceptional...I know all parents think that. But, it can be quite the adventure when you are dealing with a 6 year old that is not only extremely bright, dripping with his mother's sense of humor and sarcasm and bipolar. Yep. With this one, you never quite know what you're going to get.
4. I am recently married. There are plenty of punchlines that could be entered here, I'm sure many of the candid moments will be shared along the way of experimenting with this blog thing... He's my rock, an excellent father and provider. But, there are days where the man is as simple as cheese and crackers... oy!
5. I am an over-opinionated, seething in sarcasm, borderline obnoxious, totally have ADD (look something shiny....), and a totally American spoiled brat.  I get it, accept it and own in. Now you know.

6. Finally, I believe the best way to cope with anything life has to offer is to share it.... pain shared is pain divided, joy shared is joy multiplied (the cheese and crackers taught me that <3 ) So, I thought I'd give this a try. I know it'll help me cope with a LOT of stress, and hopefully offer some who may not be feeling 100% a few good laughs. Around here, life is better than freaking cable.